I know most people already know this but it blows my mind every time I hear all of the quarterbacks in that draft class and think about how much of a complete dumpster fire the class turned out to be. Breaking down the notable QBs in the order they were drafted we have:
Pick #1 Overall: Cam Newton
Okay, so Cam is the only QB that will be on this list that has remotely done anything in the NFL that doesn’t make you want to puke or laugh depending on who your team is. Cam came into the league with an immature label that he hasn’t really shook yet (postgame SuperBowl is an example) but he’s played fairly well for being on a team that’s best receiver is an old white dude. His MVP season last year was ridiculous plus he has some dope ass touchdown celebrations so you gotta give him that as well. But not sure if he is elite as his offense a basically a college system with the power running game being the main focus. He’s definitely in the top half of the league as far as QB’s go, but I wouldn’t put him anywhere near the Aaron Rodgers, Drew Brees and Tom Brady category.
Pick #8 Overall: Jake Locker
I brought up Jake Locker the other day and the response was “who?” and mayyybe that’s because dude retired after 3 years but it could also be because he was trash when he did play. These jabronis could have taken JJ Watt or Tyron Smith and instead went with the noodle armed injury machine Jake Locker. He had a season-ending injury every season he played (which again, was only 3) and retired because he didn’t want to play anymore.
Pick #10 Overall: Blaine Gabbert
Blaine Gabbert is still in the league which is a minor miracle given how he played in Jacksonville. Gabbert led the Jaguars to have a top 10 pick every year like always and they were better off with Chad Henne playing quarterback. Again, this guy was picked 1 pick ahead of JJ Watt. Gabbert got some playing time in San Fran (who has the #2 overall pick this year, no surprise there) battling for the starting spot with somebody else on this list of fiery garbage. Amazed that the Jaguars picked a quarterback and it didn’t work out… Doesn’t seem like something they would do.
Pick #12 Overall: Christian Ponder
Not really sure what Christian is doing these days. After having like 1 good game against the Packers his rookie year, he never really figured it out (probably because he isn’t good) and I don’t even know what he’s doing right now. He’s probably a free agent and will get paid a boatload of money to be somebodies 3rd string quarterback. Trash.
Pick #35 Overall: Andy Dalton
Teams finally took a break from being mentally handicapped and stopped picking quarterbacks for a little bit but then the Bengals had to go jump right back into the dumpster fire. The Red Rifle has shown spurts of being okay but he also has shown that he can break his thumb after throwing an interception to a defensive lineman. Dalton is the second best quarterback that came out of this class and that is only because all of the other ones literally don’t get to play. When you’re throwing to AJ Green and Tyler Eifert and people still want to replace you with AJ McCarron, that’s not a good sign. The red hair doesn’t help either.
Pick #36 Overall: Colin Kaepernick
The Bengals picked a QB the pick before and the QB run was back on (for one more pick). Had Jim Harbough not been run out of San Fran then maybe Kap would still be good… buuut he did and he’s not so here we are. Colin Kaepernick came in for an injured Alex Smith (who was actually having his best year ever but is also terrible) and ran read option all over the place which for some reason nobody (including and especially the Packers) could figure out for about 2 years. He made it to the Super Bowl behind an incredible coach and the best defense in the league and then failed 4 times in a row on a game-winning drive in the Super Bowl. After that, the read option stopped working literally every time so he had to throw the ball and people quickly figured out that he can’t do that either. He ended up getting benched for Blaine Gabbert (very hard to do) and is now a free agent. He’ll probably end up on the Bears or something and run for 300 yards every time he plays the Packers but for now, he’s still bad at football.
Pick #74 Overall: Ryan Mallett
For whatever reason the Patriots drafted Ryan Mallett (prob his rocket of an arm but whatever) and doing what the Patriots always do, they made him look not totally terrible so some other team would trade for him and start him for a few games only to then realize he’s trash. Mallett was handed the starting job for the Texans and even they didn’t want him so now he’s chillin behind Joe Flacco in Baltimore.
Pick #152 Overall: TJ Yates
The Yates of Hell! TJ Yates has been a decent backup in the league and everyone gets super pumped anytime he gets to play but that’s pretty much only because he has the coolest nickname of all time. Not much else to say but a notable contributor to the dumpster fire.
Pick #180: Tyrod Taylor
T-Mobile was the biggest steal of all of the QBs in this draft although that’s not saying much. He was picked in the 6th round and eventually became a starter and decently productive but got benched at the end of the year for EJ Manuel which is not a good look.
Supplemental Draft pick #who cares: Terrell Pryor
Dude isn’t a QB anymore but he was drafted as one then turned out to be a pretty decent receiver. Buuut unlucky for him he’s on the Browns who have a dumpster fire of their own at quarterback and have since pretty much forever.
Side Note: After writing this, I realized that this draft class has to be up there in terms of best QB nicknames of all time. We have Yates of Hell (HOF nickname), the Red Rifle, and T-Mobile. That’s a pretty good list of nicknames there. Terrible quarterbacks, awesome nicknames.